There is a reason why this world still exists...

A day back my friends and I decided to go watch a movie called "He's not that into you". It was a movie where truth was masked in comedy. It was pretty late when we came out of the theater. Past midnight.

It had been drizzling for a while and by the time we hopped into the bus and got off at the bus stop near the campus, it started pouring cats and dogs. So we stood there under the shade of the bus stop waiting for the rain to die down or to hitch a ride in a cab, which ever comes first. Standing in the same bus stop was an elderly looking man. He had a pleasant face and his origins seemed chinese. Ten ~fifteen minutes passed by and the rain hadnt stopped neither did any "unhired" cab pass us by.

Finaly, frustration seemed to get better of us. I even contemplated on making a run for it. I'd rather be soaking wet than wait another five more minutes in this bus stop. Out of the blue this elderly person stuck out his umbrella to us. It completely took me off-guard. He was lending us his umbrella un-asked. Whats shocking about this?

Most people I have met here are not as friendly as they think they might be. Yes, they could be wonderful people but only if you are one of their bestbuds, not a random stranger. And, they dont take the time off for friendly gestures because this place is all about "you look after your ownself". In short you could be dying and they would step over you so that they can catch the bus in time.

Coming back to the story, he had only one umbrella and, to me, it was not right to make it inconvenient for him. I pointed this out him but he kept insisting that we should (atleast that is what i assume it to be cos he was replying in chinese). However, it was here that I realised how much non verbal communication helps. The expression on our faces expressed frustration while his kind eyes and his gestures expressed that it was alright for us to borrow his umbrella. Five mintues passed by and again he offered his umbrella. This time my friend was panicking (she had bf issues to deal with). Ultimately we took up his offer, thanked him profusely and walked to the main street to get a cab. Just as a cab came by us, so did the bus that the man was waiting for. The man got into the bus and left without his umbrella. HE didnt even look behind at us. It was as if he just gave us (not lent) his umbrella willingly. We didn't know his name, his address and thus there was no way of returning it back to him! Ultimately my friend said she would leave it the lobby for some other needy student to take it.

From this entire incident, as minor as this maybe for some, it was an eye opener. He didnt have to go all the way to help us out. Especially in this world where people dont even care about their neighbors or even worse, do harmful acts to hurt them. His deed was very touching to me and I hope that by blogging about this, he realises by some means that his deed didnt go unnoticed.

An appropriate song

"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

I think this is more an appropriate post than the one on irritation...

Irritation

Have you wondered how sometimes its easy to imagine a person doesn't exist rather than having to acknowledge the presence and make a casual conversation with that person.

When i analyze my feelings and emotions towards a certain person I feel it keeps fluctuating! No wonder its hard for men to understand women when I myself cant understand me.

One time I want to best friends and one time i just want to go on ignoring his mere existence! Its like an evil cycle :(

Truth is a part of me has always wanted to occupy some important space in his life or nothing at all. Not the equality that all others get but something more which certain few get like his close childhood friends. Its even more difficult to walk around in the name of a friend when you hardly know what's happening to the "friend". Shouldn't it be a batch mate or something?
Yet, certain others say "it's not worth it... its his loss and not mine".

It's always been either I am something or nothing. Why cant I be neutral?
Now the time has come to decide once and for all.

Let go...

Mirah- La familia

Hey friends don't you think you better cool it down
You're always gettin' curious and leavin' town
You know i like it being in your family
I wonder what would happen if nobody left
We'd all stick around if we'd all stick around

And here's a question that's been tested:
Tell me, if we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend?

Hey friend listen up their playing our song
On the radio, do you have to go?
I really like it, this rock and roll
Makes me want a little sugar in my bowl
It's like the glory days, it's like a fortune sold

And here's a question that's been tested:
Tell me, if we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend?

Let's none of us forget about who we are
So choose a path and follow it
Take a pill and swallow it
None of us forget about who we are
It's not forever we can fool around in the dark

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?
Forever (x8)

I've been listening to this song for a while. But, I realised how much it suits my situation. Its sometimes amazing when you see how songs can connect to you.

A simple song has so many different meanings. Some meaning the thin line between friendship and sex, and some meaning of letting go. A comment I read randomly was about how the person doesn't want to let go and hopes if a physical connection is a good reason to stay back. Whichever the meaning is, sometimes its just too late to change things and then the friend(s) do let go and leave...

I guess this is what she is saying too when she says
"Hey friends don't you think you better cool it down
You're always gettin' curious and leavin' town"
"None of us forget about who we are"

Dedicated to YOU...

a new beginning

Happy New Year!

Well, this year is definitely another crucial point in my life. Why?

1. moving out
2. further studies or job?
3. staying in singapore or not?
4. Career choice
5. step into the adult world...sigh

Anyways the year started off a way i didnt expect.

1. Fell sick
2. My bro actually asking me to extend my stay!!!
3. Bumped into someone at the airport that I didnt want to meet
4. Got into a quarrel with my cousin
5. Had to be there when a certain person got drunk and started blabbering

Even though this post may sound very pessimistic, I still am looking forward to take the next step.